Files to be finalized, calls to be made, bills to be paid, clients to be dealt, banks to be checked…and so on goes the story. Every day. Yesterday was the same. Tomorrow will be another today. And today, yet another yesterday…the circle goes on.
As I walk into my office room, however, switch on the AC, sit on my chair and glance at the cluttered desk of pens and papers and files and folders, it dawns upon me, with a sense of peculiarity, that today…I have nothing to do in particular.
It’s September; the sultry sun is overhead, the festive puja mood is approaching, the rain pours heavily at times, and people in my job has piles of files to finish, taxes to be paid, returns to be filed.
But, as I glance around the piles of files that lay before me, I feel there is nothing to be rushed about. I’ve been busy being busy for the last few weeks; have completed so many files and the whole September lay before me. Today, trust me, I really have nothing important to do!
I check my emails for some work. Nothing of importance; one mail reminds me of a bill whose due date is a week away, another mail boasts about discounts on products no one is interested in, and another one claims to save my life if I pay my insurance premiums regularly!
And, so I am left with nothing to do. Today, I am a free guy, doing nothing…oh, you could envy me! What a free guy I am!
Sure, I have the knack of inventing some work to make myself busy. And so can you. There are bank accounts to be updated, computer files to be organized, back-up to be done, shoes to be repaired, hair to be cut and, oh yes, now it comes to me, I have pencils to buy for my office. I am running out of it!
But, that’s also very unimportant, don’t you think? Yeah, indeed, I can go down and buy it, you would say. It’s also a sort of work; after all, no work is unimportant; work is worship; c’mon, do it! You cannot just sit here, doing nothing!
And yet, I have made up my mind to do…nothing! Today, I am doing nothing…will do nothing…
I observe my thoughts. I feel a pang of guilt; everyone in this world, at this very moment, is doing something, and here I am, doing absolutely nothing…
They say: time is money, to earn it, spend wisely. I do feel the urge to take a file and do it. But I refuse myself to do anything…
The ‘second’ hand of my wall-clock is ticking away. It has the duty to keep ticking away, to keep telling the right time. Yeah, it’s doing something. But, today, I will do nothing, come what may!
I close my eyes. The minutes stretch into an hour. The initial guilt and the urges vanish away and there dawns on me, a curious feeling: I feel more to myself than I ever have in so many days. Calmness settles over me. I allow myself a smile, as I realize something: that I’ve not been doing nothing!
Yes, I do realize, now, that in my nothingness, I am doing something; contemplating myself, knowing my ‘self’ and being me. It’s a good feeling. Doing nothing, sometimes, is all that you can do to know more about your ‘self’. Believe me, doing nothing for a while helps you in getting more things done afterwards.
And so, equipped with the knowledge, I walk to home, doing nothing. What about you?